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Fan Questions

The Deadman’s Tome podcast is growing and it’s important to reach out to our audience and open the door for fan questions. Listeners of the show might be aware of a certain Kentucky Bob, a dedicated redneck that tries and tries again to psychologically break Mr. Deadman with absurd questions. Now is your chance to join in on that.

Send us questions about the magazine, podcast, writing, horror, movies, current events, and whatever is on your mind.  Use the form below!

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[Review] The Unborn

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Did The Unborn sell on the possibility of panty shots to make up for a run-of-the-mill horror flick? Well, the answer is obvious. Yes. Coming from a man who enjoys his fair share of perversion and provocative imagery, the panty shot cover could either be interpreted is titillating art or cheap exploitation. And as a man that also loves exploitation films, I can say without a doubt that this film fails both as a unique horror flick and as an exploitation film.

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The Unborn, directed by David S. Goyer, stars Odette Annable seemingly for her willingness to pose in underwear. The petite actress is attractive and pleasant for the eyes, but it fails to distract from the cliché story. Token black friend, check. Loving boyfriend, check. Haunted mirrors, check. Nightmares, check.

However, The Unborn had a few things that I enjoyed, other than the panty shots. The Unborn is essentially an exorcist story with Jewish mysticism. I know nothing about Jewish mysticism, but I thought it was a nice change from the typical Catholicism angle. The Unborn also featured a creepy kid, but not like Children of the Corn creepy. Just homicidal creepy. The homicidal kid sets out to try to kill the token black friend and stabs her down like a little Michael Myers. The protagonist confronts the evil bastard. Instead of remaining inside the child to create an ethical conundrum, the evil spirit that possessed the child leaves for the token black friend. The same black friend that was just stabbed moments ago. Why would an evil spirit go from an uninjured child to an adult that is bleeding out on the carpet? I chalk this disappointing turn of events to the limits of PG-13. What PG-13 movie is going to show an adult stab the fuck out of an evil kid?

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Oh, come on. How much did they pay her for just a cameltoe?

In summation, is the movie worth watching? Depends. If you’re perverted and want to see just how the panty shots look in action, then sure. But remember, there is Google, and you can get a lot more than just panties. If you want a laugh at the cheap and tired clichés, then sure. But, if you want a good horror that will scare you, then pass it up.

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Showing the New Pennywise Ruined The IT Remake

The new Pennywise was released a few weeks ago and I’ve been sort of silent on it. I’m not afraid throw my opinion on a lot of things, but I had to sit on this. In Stephen King’s  IT, Pennywise was a party clown with a hint of creep here and there so that he could lure children. Pennywise did not come off as some monster at first, and if it did, it would’ve ruined the plot. 

No child would ever befriend or trust the new Pennywise if he looked like this throughout the film. If the remake of Stephen King’s IT features Pennywise like a demented psycho clown from the get go, then the film will just suck ass.

I doubt the producers would be that stupid. I’m betting on Hollywood to at least treat Pennywise with some tact and make him approachable before his demoticons transformation. But maybe I shouldn’t.

Regardless, this new form. This new Pennywise does come across as trying to hard, and if this is the evil scary form, why reveal it now. Revealing the evil form now takes away from what made IT work. The audience shouldn’t already know what to expect from Pennywise.

What made Stephen King’s IT work is suspense, tension, and not knowing what to expect from Pennywise. Suspense is thrown out the window like a cat vomiting on the floor as soon as Pennywise demented final form is revealed. Of course, this is me speculating that the new Pennywise is a demonic form, because if not then the movie already messed up. If Pennywise doesn’t look somewhat approachable them the premise is ruined. I’ll give the producers the benefit of the doubt that the new Pennywise is not IT’s causal form.

My thoughts? The producers fucked up revealing their scary monster before it could scare. 

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Stunt Woman Gave Her Arm and Face For Resident Evil: The Final Shit Show

Olivia Jackson lost an arm and crushed her face during a motorcycle stunt for Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. What’s worse is that she almost died for a franchise that has been milked dry like a dead cow with just a few ounces of milk. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter better not try to get sympathy tickets out of this tragedy. 

Wanted to share this to show that even behind cap movies is a team of heavily devoted and hard working people. The movie might be robbed of a soul, but the cast and crew somehow find a way to pump life into the dried up husk. But don’t get a sympathy ticket. The crew has already been paid. It’s not on you or your friends to fork money to see a movie that enjoys finding new ways to thin out the already thin as rolling paper plot. 

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Horror Movie Horrors – The Muckman Commentary

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Some movies are so bad that they’re good, while others try hard to be bad to be good. Muckman is an indie horror monster film that knows its bad for the sake of being bad. Sounds redundant? Well, so is majority of the cast in this film. Muckman is a horror film with a body count of zero, a nude count of zero, and a handful of pointless characters that offer nothing but some comic relief.

 

 

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Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers Commentary

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A day ago, I stumble upon a little B-movie horror called Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. The title instantly grabbed my curiosity. I mean, who wouldn’t be curious to just how bad this slaughter fest could actually be, right? Well, if you have read my review of this cheese fest, then you’ll know that it is actually not as bad, thought extremely awful in it areas that still allow it to be enjoyable for the laughs (lulz for the younger generation). But some might be afraid to venture down this horror alone, and that’s where I come in.

The first part of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers with Mr. Deadman’s Commentary. Is this within fair use? Expect the nudity, the all to frequent scenes of beautiful breasts, to be censored.

Second part of this hilarious and yet hideous master piece of chainsaw worshiping sexy ladies of the night. You NEED to watch the virgin dance of the double chainsaws to really have lived!

Like what you see? Well, I mean, did you enjoy the commentary? Then become a patron to watch future commentaries and riff tracks! All it takes is ONE DOLLAR!

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Deadman’s Tome is a small, but rapidly growing online horror magazine that went from two-thousand views in 2015 to six-thousand views in 2016. The site grows in response to two things: consistent delivery of content and a strong focus on community engagement. Deadman’s Tome offers writers a unique way to earn revenue from their stories. Instead of offering a fixed rate or a rate based on the number of words, I pay based on the number of views, likes, and comments received. As you could expect, writers have reacted favorably by submitting waves of submissions, and the stories are spreading out like AIDS in the 80’s. With a consistent submission pool, Deadman’s Tome is able to publish original, demented, thought-provoking, and often gory horror shorts almost daily!

-Mr. Deadman