…how dare you release such a fucking awesome anti-christmas theme anthology! Sensationalized headline aside, Deadman’s Tome Krampus Christmas has received some amazing reviews on Amazon. Check out what MA Book Reviewer had to say: A vulgar and demented Christmas! A focused anthology, the six stories (one poem) play off each other attacking the holidays in decidedly different (and perverse) ways. Deadman’s Tome Krampus Christmas is … Continue reading What The Fuck Deadman’s Tome
Elf on the Shelf Randy Whittaker Little Jimmy crept down the stairs, peeking over the railing. He knew it was early and his parents wouldn’t be awake yet. But he just had to know. He had been extra good this year and he knew Santa would reward his good behavior. He crept down the stairs and his little hands left sweaty trails on the shiny … Continue reading Elf on the Shelf – Randy Whittaker
Bad, Bad, Bad Patrick Winters Grace eased out of her slumber, rubbing a hand over her eyes. When she opened them, she realized that night had fallen, the living room now covered in shadow and moonlight. The TV was on but its screen was black, the movie they’d been watching long since over and the Blu-ray player having shut itself off. Blake was snoring lightly … Continue reading Bad, Bad, Bad – Patrick Winters
Krampuslauf Patrick Winters Monsters and devils went skulking through the streets of Graz—and crowds had gathered to cheer them on and scream at their wild antics. It was the night of the Krampuslauf, or the “Krampus Run,” a longstanding tradition in many Germanic cities come wintertime, and a practice that was steadily sweeping into others across the world. In this macabre extravaganza whose roots stretched … Continue reading Krampuslauf – Patrick Winters
Krampus is here. Do not bother running. Do not bother hiding, and do not bother deleting your internet history. Rest assured that Krampus knows everything you’ve done, and there is nothing you can do about it. Don’t believe me? Read the stories featured in Deadman’s Tome Krampus Christmas to get an idea of what’s in store for you and any and every deplorable friend you … Continue reading Bad Girls Have Plenty to Fear For Krampus Christmas is Here!
Half-Gifts Andrew Robertson “The sack is too full, there’s no way all these gifts are going to fit!” Simcock exclaims, pushing down on the large boxes and cloth bags in the enormous, red velvet sack. There is a sound of crunching, popping adhesive and decorative foil paper and bows crumpling as the contents are forced deeper. “Careful,” Grizel clips. “You’ll ruin them. They are wrapped … Continue reading Half-Gifts – Andrew Robertson
Ode to Krampus Clive Carpenter T’was a week before Christmas, Deep down in the hood, When me and my gang Was up to no good. We had just hit Pete’s liquor store Right down the block. Stitch capped Pete with his 9, And I with my Glock. I cleaned out the drawer, Took all the cash, And Stitch grabbed a 40 Before makin’ … Continue reading Ode to Krampus – Clive Carpenter