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Self-identity and Fiction

The vampire. A creature of the night that embodies charisma, strength, and control. Attributes that most either aspire for, or long to be the subject of. The curse of being abandoned, exiled, and forgotten may even seem trivial when fear and power are weighted in.

In short, the vampire is characterized in such a way to bring out admiration, desire, and fantasy. So, is it any surprise that some people wish to role play as a vampire? Dress, tslk, sleep, and eat as if the creature described in in various vampire folklore.

But what happens when fantasy becomes reality? When role play shifts from a hobby to a full lifestyle change? Or even when people dedicate their whole being, and the rearing of their children to the fantasy?

Apparently, this happens more often than you might think. Therapists have helped people through identification troubles. Situations that some may even say are much more important because they’re real and effect a bigger population such as gender identification. Vampire identification, and other fantasy based identification, is very real though, and requires a similar delicate approach.

How do you convince someone that believes, truly believes they are a vampire that they’re not? Should it even matter? Well, raising children on artifical blood is a major alarm for me. A grown ass adult to do whatever as long as they don’t hurt anybody as far as in concerned.

Would you say that they’re delusional and need help? To me, it seems like they’re trying to avoid something from personal experience. They take on what they desire as to not be their undesired self. In that case, is it therapeutic? If it helps to cope with a tragedy to believe you’re something, even fantasy based, then what is the problem? Is there a problem?

But what do you think?

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Beyond a Good Read

A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.

James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility

How does this play with literature?

Reading a book there is the finite purpose of completing from cover to cover. The “winning” goal. Yet, even then the completion, “winning”, could be redefined as having thoroughly read, studied, and then even incorporated into one’s daily life. A finite purpose given an seemingly infinite number of other purposes. In otherwords, a finite game changed for an infinite game to keep the play alive.

We witness, experience, and even participate in numerous infinite games. Marketing is an infinite game. Though a finite goal is achievable in form of stats and quotas, the goal posts move just as soon as they are reached.

When we experience something enjoyable; reading a good book, playing a beloved video game, and watching an exciting movie. We, often times, want to extend the play, extend the experience by turning a finite game into an infinite game.

Of course, this shift from finite to infinite isn’t true for everyone. Some believe merely reading a book is enough and thus that’s their definition of “winning”. However, I would argue that everyone has sort of game they want to continue playing; thus, “winning” isn’t simply an achieved goal, but a goal in a seemingly endless stream is goals.

For gamers, any freemium game is riddled with this. Destiny is plagued with this. World of Warcraft has banked on this.

For readers, fan-fiction helps extend the play, conventions provide interaction, and discussion provides nuance.

Then, of course, reading a book that is so good that you want to extend the experience. You find ways to embrace, embody the elements of the narrative into yourlife. Maybe its for study, maybe its for understanding, and maybe its just for entertainment.

I recall becoming obsessed with American Psycho. I idolized Patrick Bateman and his yuppie, coked-out lifestyle, even though now I have no interest in it. I wanted to experience the tastes, music, and lifestyle described. I participated in discussions and consumed commentary.

All this to extend the experience, continue enjoyment, and to keep the play alive. Just about everyone has his or her story, whether it’s enjoying discussions and debates to living as a character, even if just briefly.

Feel free to share your experiences.

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Retardation Break Room

Words evolve over time. From the moment a word is conceptualized, it’s defined. Yet definitions change over time through every day application.

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Knowing what we know now. How words are used now, alters how we react when we see those same words used in historical context.

Retardation does not mean what it means today, and how is that? Because words become redefined through application.

Of course, retardation is just one of many examples. Please, share your examples. No need for trigger warnings.

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The Hidden Pain

A brilliant actor that enlightened as much as he entertained. Robin Williams touch all of our hearts through classics. Though not all his films were on equal standing, they all benefited from his on-screen presence. Hook.

He had a smile, comedic voice, and an energy that found light in the darkest of subjects. Patch Adams.

His dramatic roles. Robin Williams possessed eyes of pure, potent empathy. He characterized emotions well, effectively communicating through the screen the pain, misery, heartache, and hope. Jack.

But behind every smile was a level of pain and hurt that he kept from the world. Behind every frown, and every cry, was a moment of truth of the battle he faced on a daily basis. Robin Williams hid his struggle from the world well, but in the end, it left us with a reminder of how real and tragic clinical depression is.

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Happy Birthday!

It’s August 11th, which means two things: the scorching Texas summer heat is almost over, and it’s my birthday!

Fuck, yeah! Allow me to gloat all about me, me, me! Ugh, not even I would want to read through that.

What I do enjoy, however, is playing drinking games, and especially with zombies and hand grenades!

Just makes sure you don’t get that zombie gunk in your drink, or you might be the next to pop. I should get a zombie piñatas and fill it up with sugary blood for all the kids.

Anyways, once again, happy birthday to me!

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School ‘banishes’ 7yo student for saying he doesn’t believe in God

I swear, this reads like an upcoming South Park script. I don’t even think they actually use scripts. Ever see the documentary where they create an episode in like a day? Their script consisted of last minute ideas scribbled on a chalkboard after hours and hours of brainstorming. The joke is, Matt Stone and Trey Parker don’t have to try so hard, because all they have to do is literally mimic an article like this and they have another episode!

http://www.rt.com/usa/311664-school-child-lawsuit-god/

A child is banished from his classmates AND friends because he expressed he said he didn’t believe in God. You might think it was out of peer to peer bullying, but you would be so wrong. The school orchestrated and maintained the banishment. The playground supervisor, the teacher, and other school staff seemed in agreement that the child should be exiled from the others because his lack of God offends others.

This sounds like a simple incident was way over blown, and as a consequence the child couldn’t hangout with his friends at lunch. Just about every other kid will notice that and began asking why. Anyone that went through public school knows that the child will face judgement from his peers. Poor kid.

How is this a Christian thing to do? Jesus spoke in direct opposition to judgement.

What’s your reaction to this?

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Do You Read more Men or Women Authors?

Though not interested in bashing one specific gender as solely responsible for the disproportionate number of men to women authors. Different times, different mind sets, and different values.

However, I am open for discussion on the subject and how it has shaped your view in literature and writing.

With that said, please enjoy Do You Read more Men or Women #Authors ? #amreading #books – http://wp.me/paiZD-16Z

Feel free to join the conversation over there, but I would like to know who you grew up reading.

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America Still Loves Smut-lite

On August 5th, 2015, I became suddenly curious as I sat comfortably on my couch. I wondered,  then and there, what novels topped Amazon’s all time Best-Selling. I’m not sure why I cared. Maybe, I thought I would discover a new up and coming author. Maybe, I thought I would be impressed with the selection. Better yet, maybe I knew I would find something that would grind my gears.

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And as you can see, I did. Apparently, the majority are still obsessed over Fifty Shades of Grey! Which means that majority of America is all about the kinky sex, right? At least, in closet? I suppose, but Fifty Shades isn’t even the cream of smut. It’s highly popular because it is easily accessible yet just barely offensive.

Want to read something really smutty? Read The Chariot of Flesh. I forget the author, some bloke that died of a heroin overdose, but that’s not the point.

The point is how could it be that Fifty Shades is STILL the number one book on Amazon? How could it be that a poorly written, joke of a smut, Twilight spin fanfic beats everything else in popularity?

That’s just retarded. I know we’re supposed to not use the dreaded R word as it offense, but when the majority vote with dollars to make Fifty Shades #1 again it is exactly that.

Am I jealous? Am I green with envy? Well, sort of, because Fifty makes it seem so easy. Erotica existed long before Fifty, but then Fifty Shades comes along and becomes a sensation! Why? How?

There is better erotica out their both in content and in prose, yet they don’t even come close to Fifty’s success.

Let me know what you think. What’s your reaction to this?

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Deadman’s Tome Podcast

First episode, initial test run, and a good way to breathe new life into Deadman’s Tome!

https://www.spreaker.com/show/deadmans-tome-podcast

Authors, musicians, artists, send stuff you want plugged to me at

Jessecdedman@gmail.com

Readers, fans, and strangers, send me stuff you want covered to the same email address.

The plan is to make this weekly.

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Writer’s Block

An idea suddenly appears, emerging out from the darkness like a blast of light. An overwhelming sense of inspiration rushes through you in vibrant waves, empowering you to craft the wondrous and frantic thoughts in your head into something tangible.

But inspiration can vanish just as quickly as it appears, leaving you staring at a black space. A blank space that seems to mock you as you struggle to find the words.

Writers in of all kinds seem destined to face this delima at least once in their life. And the question is, what helps?

What helps overcome those moments when inspiration suddenly stops?

Is it searching for the source? Is it searching for a certain feeling?

I don’t know for sure. I have, of course, tackled this problem before. But what worked for me, my not work for everyone else. For me, it was remembering who I was writing for. It sounds so simple and cliché,  but it involved time and soul searching.

I invite fellow writers to share their experience with writer’s block.