Grill Cleaning With Mr. Deadman

It’s Saturday before Easter, and I’m assigned the task of turning a rust bucket of a grill into a fucking somewhat sanitary meat cooking machine! 

This gill hasn’t been used in ages. The last time meat was on this baby was back when I had to get a bit creative on disposing a body. Only kidding NSA, only kidding. 

No, but seriously, this grill is a rust bucket. So what do I do? I YouTube some tips: soap, water, vinegar and a lot of scrubbing. Good thing my arm gets plenty of practice. Okay, I chill it with the puns. 

To give an idea of how old this grill is and how unused it has become, frogs are about to get smoked out from their home!

The other thing I do, as a writer, is zone out on this and that. I got to thinking about crematorium workers and the daunting task of cleaning the burn chambers. I suppose the chore is more of a annoyance than daunting. I also suppose that it becomes so routine that the workers don’t even think about the fact that their cleaning human or animal ash. They probably think about it for the first few times, but that conversation must get old fast. Wouldn’t be surprised if the worker cleans the chamber and then chomps down on a Taco Bell burrito with unwashed hands. The guy, assuming it’s a dude, probably wanks on his man meat with ashy hands while fantasizing about the woman, dude, or dog they just recently scorched.

Gross, I know. But it would make for an interesting character. I may never use this guy or chick, but I would think that the character would be so unique and creepy that even as a background he or she would standout. 

Think about that. Cleaning this rust bucket of a grill served twould purposes!

Now for the sponsor plug. Bud Light. It’s what I had left in the fridge!

1 Comment

  1. Nice, I used to work in a funeral home, so I know what you’re talking about eating after the deed is done. One mortision enballmed a body, then said he was ready for a burger from Burger King.

    Either way, good post. I’m about to clean my grill for tomorrow, as well.


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