Zombie Offers Abortion Solution To Pro Lifer Conservatives

Baby Moses laws exist but they don’t feed zombies

As a member of the undead community, I don’t give a single rigor mortis fuck if you’re pro-life or pro-choice. What I care about is the very real possibility that if pro-lifers got there way that dumpster babies would become a popular trend. 

Don’t count it as silly just yet. We all know that there are shit parents out there. Afterall, we have mothers willing to smoke meth while pregnant. We got mothers willing to pimp put their toddlers for drug money. We even have retard idiots that can’t remember if they have their kid in a car. Hello, do you have a memory problem? You can’t remember that you helped you child in the car?

Police looking at a baby that a shit teenage mother didn’t want.

We have a slew of shit parents and it is obvious that an ill prepared shit mother that doesn’t want her child is most likely to resort to drastic measures. I bet that if pro life is a mandate and that abortion is illegal outright then we’ll not only see an increase of dumpster babies, but that’ll become this hip sensation that all the cool chicks get into. 

Have you dumped your baby today? #DumpsterBaby 


Listen, pro-lifers, I got your back. I understand the need to protect life and all that, but there are those moms that will just never care, and for that I have a solution! 

Feed the unwanted babies AND the mothers that feel just TOO busy and bothered to have a child to me. That’s right. I’ll eat both the child and the mother, and by doing so I’ll not only help the mother and baby join in the afterlife, I’ll also solve the both dumpster baby crisis and abortion happy mothers! 

Now, Pro-choicers. I get you, too. I understand that sometimes things happen and there are extreme circumstances where you might need to kill the human life in you. And I’m sure pro-choicers would agree that abortion should not replace birth control or be a fail safe for when a condom breaks or when a woman fails to take her birth control correctly. For those that don’t understand how birth control work and are working on their second abortion, get in line for Undead Greg feeding time. 

I don’t expect pro-choicers that kill their lil’ human every time birth control fails to comply willingly, and that is where I can make a deal with the pro-lifers, because they are more likely to be conservative and more likely to have the fire power.

Help Undead Greg feed on the abortion happy pro-choicers AND their dumpster babies and you’ll get absolute zombie immunity. That’s right. I and my undead friends will leave you alone. 

Undead Greg

Listens to Undead Greg’s podcast. https://www.spreaker.com/show/undead-greg

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