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Woman Reports To Police That A Pokemon Raped Her?!

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What the holy fuck? A woman in Moscow claims that she woke up in bed to find a Pokemon on top of her, raping her. A that’s right, a woman woke up and felt a virtual PokeCock violating her pink taco. Did the Pokemon say its own name in a cute an adorable way as it ravished her? It couldn’t have been on of the cute pokemon types. It would’ve been a beast like a Charizard with its massive Charizard cock.

The woman says the Pokemon disappeared when she jumped out of bed – but says the Pokemon GO app on her phone could still detect the same virtual character’s presence on her bed.

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She woke up her husband to tell her what had happened who told police officers that he did not believe her and told her to see a psychiatrist.

Russian news website Bloknot reports that the police did not believe her either and that the woman then went to see a psychic who was unable to help her.

Ivan Makarov, the woman’s friend, said: “She says there are too many Pokemon at her place and even the dog can sense them. She says the dog barks whenever she plays Pokemon GO.”

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Is this an onion piece? Is this shit for real? A woman believes that her dog can “feel” their presence? Its fucking code on a stupid app, it’s not a real Pokemon detector or anything. If this is for real, and some woman reported that a Pokemon had raped her, then that’s all the evidence anyone needs to have her sentenced to an institution. The bitch is coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

Instead of going to a psychiatrist, she went to a psychic! A fucking psychic! You have to be kidding me, right?  I wish someone had paid the psychic to mess with her, to push her even further into the crazy.

But is this legit? Is this story legit?

Link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3734361/Woman-tells-police-RAPED-Pokemon-character-felt-assault-virtual-reality-game-detected-creature-bedroom.html?ito=social-facebookhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3734361/Woman-tells-police-RAPED-Pokemon-character-felt-assault-virtual-reality-game-detected-creature-bedroom.html?ito=social-facebook

 

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