What the holy fuck? A woman in Moscow claims that she woke up in bed to find a Pokemon on top of her, raping her. A that’s right, a woman woke up and felt a virtual PokeCock violating her pink taco. Did the Pokemon say its own name in a cute an adorable way as it ravished her? It couldn’t have been on of the cute pokemon types. It would’ve been a beast like a Charizard with its massive Charizard cock.
The woman says the Pokemon disappeared when she jumped out of bed – but says the Pokemon GO app on her phone could still detect the same virtual character’s presence on her bed.
She woke up her husband to tell her what had happened who told police officers that he did not believe her and told her to see a psychiatrist.
Russian news website Bloknot reports that the police did not believe her either and that the woman then went to see a psychic who was unable to help her.
Ivan Makarov, the woman’s friend, said: “She says there are too many Pokemon at her place and even the dog can sense them. She says the dog barks whenever she plays Pokemon GO.”
Is this an onion piece? Is this shit for real? A woman believes that her dog can “feel” their presence? Its fucking code on a stupid app, it’s not a real Pokemon detector or anything. If this is for real, and some woman reported that a Pokemon had raped her, then that’s all the evidence anyone needs to have her sentenced to an institution. The bitch is coo-coo for cocoa puffs.
Instead of going to a psychiatrist, she went to a psychic! A fucking psychic! You have to be kidding me, right? I wish someone had paid the psychic to mess with her, to push her even further into the crazy.
But is this legit? Is this story legit?