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A video review would really do this justice. I mean, why take the time to write out with words my thoughts and feelings towards an exploitative B-film? Because this exploitative B-film is self-aware and thrives on the fact that the story is not just thin, but bat shit-insane.

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Michelle Bauer giving a lucky man that “look.” Seems a bit crazy, though. Might be better off talking to her friend with the dark hair.

 

The opening scene consists of a blonde woman being interviewed. She goes through the steps of her routine of prostitution, and then claims that she gave the man male enhancement treatment and pulled out a chainsaw. Yes, you read that correctly.

The movie is literally about an ancient cult of people who worship chainsaws because they represent a force that combines life and death. You’re probably wondering how a cult that worships a modern tech could be ancient. Well, according to the film, the Mayan’s were the chainsaw of the gods. Honestly, I don’t even understand the logic.

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This is that friend you were thinking of hooking up with. Still think you’ll have a good chance? 

The winning quality of this film is that men would be presented with several very nice full frontal nude scenes along side of women killing predatory men. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers may not have an outstanding story, or a coherent one at that, but it combines misogyny and misandry! Radical feminists will be pleased to hear that women are empowered. The vulnerable hookers are actually the predators in this film, preying on men that would normally prey on them. Imagine that an exploitation B-movie would challenge the patriarchy! Hollywood could really learn something from Chainsaw Hookers.

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Because Egyptians and chainsaws have something in commen

Yes, the movie is cheesy, but it’s not heavy or a strain to endure. The pacing is fast and doesn’t dwell. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers moves like a crime film with lazy dick of a detective that goes from in the office, to a strip club, to strapped to a bed. The problems with the film isn’t with pacing. The problem is the, obviously, the story. But when the film doesn’t even take its story own story seriously, but just goes along with it, what can you really say?

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The amount of skin and the quality of said skin is just great. Ass, boobs, and bush.

Marvel movies don’t make any sense and people just go along with it.Sure, it’s cool to believe that a super soldier with a trashcan lid can take on a bunch of dudes with guns. What happens when a bullet hits the captain, huh? He dies. But, it’s crazy to believe that a cult would worship chainsaws?

yeah, it’s still fucking insane. But is it worth watching? Yes. Even if just for the novelty of it all, yes. Watch the film, and remember that this was a legit project, and it’s still better than some films of the current year.

Still on the fence? Well, sounds like you need some TFC: Tender Fucking Care. Here’s a link.

Deadman’s Tome is a growing horror zine that publishes short stories and flash fiction whether it’s ghost stories, zombie invasions, bigfoot sightings, slasher sprees, bizarre fiction, classic horror literature or erotica. The darker the tale the better. If you enjoyed the story, or even if you didn’t, leave a comment below as it helps the authors.

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-Mr. Deadman

 

 

 

Owner of Dedman Productions, a small production company that focuses on bringing entertainment in both fiction and film.

One Comment on “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers Review

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