Do the kids these days even know who H. P. Lovecraft is? Let’s hope not, because if they did, the angry Internet mob might demand little racist though sort of comical phrases like

Nigger Man

be completely changed to something more appropriate like, I don’t know, how about

Black Man

Ugh, no. Black Man might be a little too racial for the new hip and overly sensitive youth. I know, how about

Cat Man

No. That won’t do either. Cat Man sounds way too gender specific. Cat Man represents a misogynistic frame of mind because it is another example of an author choosing male characteristics over female.  That definitely won’t go over well with the college crowd.

Well, then, I suppose we are left with plain old

Cat

but that wouldn’t work either as it denotes ownership and ownership is a form of slavery which makes it racist. Hhmm. I don’t know. Is Niggerman really that important to the story? What if we just took it out? I mean, it could also serve as a symbolic gesture of no more racism in literature!

Perfect solution. All mentions of Niggerman will for now on be completely removed from all future reprints! Let the social justice warriors rejoice in their victory to censor in the name of protecting the sensibilities of those that were to pampered and sheltered to survive even an ounce criticism. Much less, being offended.

By the way, Rats in the Walls is one of my favorite Lovecraft stories. What’s yours?

Owner of Dedman Productions, a small production company that focuses on bringing entertainment in both fiction and film.

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